It’s Goin Down, I’m Yellin Tiiinder!


Ah, Tinder. Outsiders see it as a strictly hookup app, but insiders know the deal. Maybe it was initially created for that purpose, but the rules of the game have changed. (Remember when Snapchat was first released?)

So in a city of millions, I downloaded Tinder and got to playing. I think the app has made me shallow and pickier than ever, but there’s nothing wrong with not settling. If anything, I enjoy swiping, even if it’s mostly left (no), but as soon as I see that “Hey what’s up?” message, I cringe. I don’t like small talk and it’s annoying to repeat my story of who I am and why I’m in NYC. I’m forgetful and the messages get overwhelming, so you won’t get much of a conversation out of me unless we talk about random things and make each other laugh. You see, I really don’t even want to invest time in getting to know someone before meeting them in person. Once there’s a physical interaction, It only takes me a few minutes to know if I’m going to like that person and that’s not basing it entirely on looks. Vibes, vibes, vibes!

All I really need to know is if the guy has any of my deal breakers;
·Does he have an accent?
·Does he have a child?
·Is/was he in the military?
·Is he short?
·Is he skinny?
·Does he take steroids?
·Has he ever hit a woman?
·Does he disrespect women in any way?

If the answer is no to ALL questions, date accepted. I’ve dealt with all the above and there are absolutely no exception to any of those listed. With that being said, let the dates begin.

Tinder Tips:
·Upload a variety of photos. (your face can only change so much from selfie to selfie.)
·Be picky with who you swipe yes to. I promise you the messages will get overwhelming when your inbox is full of “maybes”.
·Even if you don’t actually go on dates, tinder is an awesome way to boost your confidence and talk to people online. Give it a shot!
·Screenshot all the crazy messages you get, you’ll laugh about them later.
·Always read through your conversation with the guy you’re about to go on a date with so you don’t get his story confused with another guy.
·You already know your story, ask the guys questions for a change.
·Let the guys message you first. If they don’t, they clearly don’t want you bad enough. Eliminate the passive ones.
·Always ask for their Instagram or Facebook. You want to know if the guy you’re going to meet up with is normal, has friends, and better photos to show what he really looks like.
·Seriously don’t use this app to sleep with guys. You might as well stand in a street corner if that’s what you’re doing. Respect yourself.



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